We are led to believe that the zeitgeist is beginning to shift in regards to global warming and political attitudes toward the ecosystem as a whole. First, Democratic candidates were promising to run carbon-neutral campaigns, the GOP nominee delivers a major address on climate change, and more recently, the Evil Empire itself, the Bush administration, said we need to start taking care of our nation’s polar bears. There is a growing environmental enlightenment throughout the American political spectrum.
Which has obviously got some paleo-Republicans in a tizzy. Yes, she’s on many McCain veep shortlists, yes she’s a charming, affable, and talented politician, and yes she looks sweet and innocent, like a perky librarian (are there perky librarians?), but Alaska’s governor Sarah Palin has a dark side colder than the icy tundra which she oversees.
Sarah Palin wants to kill polar bears.
Oh, she’s not so overt as to publicly advocate for their wholesale slaughter, joyfully wallowing in their gleaming viscera, all the more pronounced as their red life fluid stains the snowy Alaskan vista, her cackles echoing against the now-disintegrating glaciers as the white landscape slowly creeps to a sickening bloody pink. But the AP has reported today that Gov. Palin is challenging the Department of the Interior’s decision to place polar bears on the threatened species list, citing lack of “evidence” and fears about the impact on oil producers.
Take a second and digest this. The person charged with the care of the habitat of polar bears is claiming that the oil-obsessed Bush administration is being too nice to polar bears, and is now going to do her civic duty in ensuring that no one drilling for oil will ever live in fear of stepping in polar bear poop (which I would assume would just be like a frozen rock by the time anyone actually stepped on it. It’d probably be pretty fun to kick around, or throw at your oil drilling buddies as a gag).
This should really get the McCain camp’s attention, though. I can see it now. McCain/Palin 2008: You’re next, American Green Tree Frog!
Oh wait, wait! Or! Or! McCain/Palin 2008: Fighting the War on Bear-orism!
Oooh! One more! The Straight Talk Express – 167 Red Bellied Turtles Flattened since 1999.
Oh, extinction of species, is there any way you’re not funny?
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Update: Changed the picture because, apparently, I had an image of someone who looks like Palin. I like this one better, anyway.